Here We Go Again!

And god said, "Let there be snow. On Tuesday and Wednesday. Lots more. Bury the bitch under the green dot."

o/`Heavennnn... I'm in heavennnnnn o/`

The Infamous Greenhouse

A shot of the infamous greenhouse, which fortunately has a slanted roof! The big lumpy thing to the right is a fireplace and the poles are holding hanging pots full of snow.

The Perfect Snow

It's snowing. It's snowing where *I* am. It's not only snowing where *I* am, it's a "Winter Storm Warning" record-breaking sort of thing with the promise of some pretty serious stuff, and 20" have fallen so far.

If you've read more than two words of this blog, you know how I feel about snow. I love snow. I live for snow. Snow is the single most perfect thing on earth.

My life, having sucked for pretty much the last year due to some fairly intolerable pain that is ever present, seriously needed some cheering up and Hubby came to my rescue in the most fabulous way.

Late yesterday afternoon after it started snowing, he had me crawl out of bed and down the stairs (an agonizing trip I take no more than once or twice a week) and into the living room, where he planted my butt on our cushiest sofa, which sits right in front of a picture window. He wrapped me in my favorite pink fur and sequin THRO blankie and made me a cup of steaming hazlenut coffee laced with Nutella. There we sat, watching the beautiful, silent snow fall until it got too dark to see. And that's when the real magic began.

Richard grabbed two uplights we had bought to highlight some groups of plants we have in the den, and put super-bright flood lights meant for the track lighting in my studio into them. He placed them on the window sill facing out the window, and made a tent of aluminum foil and cardboard above to eliminate any "light noise" that might escape from the light cans. He aimed them at the Bartlett pear tree a few feet from the window and turned them on. Every flake that fell was suddenly visible and glistened like a dazzling crystal as it passed through the light in front of the illuminated snow-covered tree branches.

The snow and the moment were indeed, perfection.

Snow Event Horizon Part VI

It's snowing. On my stuff.

[thud]

Snow Event Horizon Part V

Yeah, yeah, they say it's gonna snow. They don't only say it's gonna snow, they say it's gonna snow a LOT. "Dangerous." "Take precautions." "Megastorm." BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Yeah, right. We all know it will snow around me. Eyup.

This is the current satellite photo. I've added the pink dot to represent East Nottingham:



I predict this is exactly how the satellite picture will appear during the height of the storm:



Bet me.

Naaah, Can't Be True... Snow Event Horizon Part IV?

It's snowing! Not a blizzard mind you, not even a real "snowstorm" but snow nonetheless. I'll take it!

And yes, it's melting off the roof of the crooked greenhouse... thankfully!

Considering my track record, I'm sure it's the last I'll see this winter.

But it sure is purrrrty :)

Snow Event Horizon Part III (or It Never Snows on Me)

So, I'm watching a show I recorded on the DVR months ago and every few minutes the show is interrupted by a local news flash warning about the huge amounts of snow we're absolutelypositivelydefinitely going to get. Yup, I actually taped the show when I was inspired to write the original "Snow Event Horizon" post and start this blog off by sharing my pathetic inability to be snowed upon. Apparently the original experience wasn't horrible enough and I am doomed to relive it for all eternity.

Did I mention we've had like 4,328 inches of rain this summer? It NEVER stops. Generally speaking, one inch of rain equals 1 foot of snow around these parts. Eeeeeeeyup. Can't wait for winter and the friggin' DRY SEASON.

Tornado Event Horizon

Tornadoes in southeastern Pennsylvania. Exactly how often does that happen? This isn't exactly Tornado Alley, it's actually pretty much The Land That Weather Forgot. In fact, anyone who has been playing along since the beginning of Reality Check knows that I started my journey into the blogging abyss with a post regarding my own personal inability to get snowed on, no matter how hard I try. So, is it any wonder this was the satellite map of an urgent tornado warning issued by the National Weather Service today? The box is so small and precise that it may as well have been issued as "Urgent Tornado Warning for Susan Maxwell Schmidt's House." Thankfully the "tornado event" didn't pan out to be any more than dime-sized hail.



As long as I live here, you will NEVER see this with a blizzard warning.

Snow Event Horizon Part II (or It Never Snows on Me)

Predicted snowfall for East Nottingham, PA: 9-12"

Snowfall totals (directions in relation to East Nottingham, PA)

• East Nantmeal, PA (north): 8.0"
• Wilmington, DE (east): 9.7"
• Middletown, DE (south, former snowless home base): 6.2"
• Lancaster County, PA (west): 7-9"

Snowfall total for East Nottingham, PA? I can still see grass. Yesireebob.

Snow Event Horizon?

I actually wrote this yesterday and for some reason it is what inspired me to finally get off my unblogged butt and share my view of reality with the world. Welcome to the abyss.
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Anyone who knows me well knows I love snow. Snow rocks. When I lived in DE, I was always unhappy when the snow would make it to the C&D canal and not come down to me, which too often seemed the case.

Then we moved north to PA, to the fabled “west of the city” region where the snow was always predicted to fall whenever we longingly watched the local news from our snowless Delaware abode. We got lots of snow the first winter we were here and I was in heaven. I even bought R a snow blower for XMAS the following winter in anticipation of the many storms to come. That was five years ago. He has used it exactly *once*. East, west, north, south (including Middletown, DE, of course) get snow. Significant snow. Who doesn’t get snow? I don’t get snow. No matter where I happen to be and how much is actually predicted to fall where I *am*, where I *am* is the edge of the storm and the snow is jussssst outta reach of my outstretched, welcoming arms. I literally get snowed “around.” Always.

So this morning R and I sipped our morning mugs of the Elixir of Life, gazing hopefully out the window watching what they predict will be the one and only significant snowfall we get this year do its thing outside the bedroom window. A good, solid dusting of snow has already covered our and our neighbors’ rear lawns as far as the eye can see through the multitude of bare trees, bringing the hope, with less than my usual, well-earned dubiousness, of good things to come. At least it’s getting off to a good start and I can’t help but get excited. It’s actually snowing! On MY stuff!

Then I get up to, well… pee.

I walk into the bathroom and look with anticipation out the second story window to the front of the house, expecting to see an even bigger stretch of landscape blanketed in my beloved frosty white. But noooooo. What do I see surrounding me for acres and acres? Brown, barren, ugly dead grass. Mebbe a sort of “frosted’ look here and there, but otherwise absolutely nuttin’. Zilch. Nada. Zippo. Naught.

So it seems, as fate would so elegantly have it, that I have literally arrived on the snow event horizon, *possibly* about to be sucked into the black (white?) hole.

Or not.