Bailout Shmailout --- I Have the Solution!

I have come up with a brilliant answer to the bank bailout mess. It's posted on my "professional" [koff] blog, Style & Angst.

I smell Nobel Prize! I'm expecting a call from Obama at any moment.

Superrrrrr Geeeenius: I Have Just Resolved the Whole Bank Bailout Debacle

Coming Soon to a Presidential Address Near You!

Does anyone but me think "Hail to the Chief" seems so old fashioned and outta place when played with respect to Obama? With all due respect to tradition, which technically I'm all for, you can almost see Barama cringe when his "theme song" is played. He should have a much cooler ditty, something with a beat. Will.I.Am's "Yes We Can?" Love it, but not for this purpose. Simon and Garfunkel's "America?" Nah, too laid back. Springsteen's "Born in the USA?" Not one of my favs Dick, but appropriate and has a good beat. I give it a 92. The Beach Boys' "California Girls?" Sooo NOT. Wait, I got it! Neil Diamond's "America!" THAT'S IT! Just mainstream enuf to make the tradionalists and Republicans happy, with a snappy beat and a much higher cool factor (in a socially acceptible, political sorta way) than "Hail to the Chief." I can almost see Barama when it comes time to give his next Presidential address, strutting up to the podium in time with the music, doing his unmistakeable Barama dance with his little barrel-roll arm move, mouthing paraphrased lyrics:

o/`
Got a dream they've come to share
Gonna talk to America
o/`

I'm likin' it. Who's with me?

Brain Banage

Watching the news of late and the fear mongering emanating from such far right brainiacs as Glenn Beck and Sean Hannity regarding the heretofore imaginary gun ban, as well as the YouTube videos being made by paranoid gun owners urging other paranoids to purchase guns and ammo "before Obama takes away your rights and bans firearms," it suddenly dawned on me that an awful lot of people who own guns are apparently just too damn stupid to own guns. I propose we do away with background checks prior to gun ownership and instead institute an IQ test. Problem solved. Now, how to stop those who aren't smart enough to be parents from procreating... at least we'd end up with a well-armed society in every possible aspect.