Hittin' Da Big Time!

I am having a hard time deciding if this was way too much fun or way too much of a time waster but either way, I entirely blame The Bloggess for this mess (@TheBloggess on Twitter). I suggest you do the same. (You needn't mention my name to her however... this woman actually has her own army. Literally).

So anyway, apparently after ten years of exceptional hair jewelry artistry, I've finally done a global advertising campaign for LongLocks. Nevermind that I used the same ol' tired promo photo I always use, go with what works I always say.
















And my personal fav, in my own sorta twisted way...




You can waste your own damn time over at Photofunia. Just remember when you get roped in, it's The Bloggess you blame.

Gawd, I Just LOVE Automation!

Check this out, an automatic blog post generator. Below is my own personal auto blog post. Thank god I don't have to write this crap myself anymore and can now freely spend all my time on Twitter instead of trying to amuse you people. This thing writes better than I do anyway, it's a win/win.
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Geez I just had a terrible scare when I thought I had not updated this since people stopped clapping and Tinkerbell died. You would not believe how hard it is being waited on hand and foot and generally lounging around. I prostrate myself in sorrow and beg thy forgiveness.

I am absolutely consumed with sleeping my way to the top, selling my soul to Google, and just generally being a biatch to various lawyers I met recently. My day seems to involve the authorities from lunchtime until I run out of alcohol. I am beyond drunk most of the time. Can't they see I am blogging????

I declare solemnly I will update you with my nefarious activities as soon as I get a chance. Seriously! This is for my ever faithful, devoted public.

I Gotta Stay Off Twitter

Today's meme on Twitter is to come up with rejected "First Draft Band Names" (#firstdraftbandnames). Needless to say, this was a very good use of my time. I've listed my favs of my own offerings below, can you decipher all of 'em? Bet not.

LeAnn Busta Rimes
Panic! How Did I End Up At A Friggin' Disco???
Jay-R
Steely Daniel James Stevenson, III
Inexpensive Chicanery
P Diddy Change it Again?
My Chemically-Induced Bromance
Superho
Electric Light Garage Band
Kanye Pest
Yawnni
Inhospitable Native Garden
Jane's Intervention
Plagiarized Soundtrack
Godsmooch
Neil Ain't So Young Anymore
Pauper
New Kids on the Chopping Block
Pixie Styx
Da Peach A La Mode
LinkedIn Park
Jimmy All-You-Can-Eat Buffet
The Balding Eagles
AD/HD
Aunty Eminem
Naughtyfinger
No
Feud
Whammy!
Who Do You Do Gurus
Van's Aunt
Dupioni Silk Revolver
UB WD 40
Talking Rest Rooms
They Might Be Really Big Scary People
The YouTubes
The I Like Turtles
Three Dog Day Afternoon
T-Itchy Rash
Anorexic Lizzy
Twisted Second Cousin Once Removed
Ringtone-Loc
Scoop Dogg
Smashing Butternut Squash
Jefferson Winnebago
Salt-N-Pepa Steak
Simple Ego, Id and Super Ego
Jessica Simpleton
Fjork
iPodhead
The Copycat Dolls
Poisson
Pure Prairie League Bowlers
Public BFF
Mother-of-Pearl Jam
Tom Picayune
The Inlaws
Yoko Oh No You Dinnint!
The O'Kays
The Trucks
Blush Pink Floyd
Poughkeepsie Dolls
My Bloody Christmas Card
"Pure" Milli Vanilli Extract
The Premenstrual Blues
Canned Spam Puppets
Marilyn Manson Family Values
Tim Quickdraw McGraw
Lords of Alkaline
Korny
Crazy Bozo Vigilantes
Iggy Pop Rocks
House of Mild Irritation
Hot Tuna Melt
T-Rex Jr
Dead Can Do the Hustle
Dead Mailmen
Destiny's Illegitimate Child
James Dull
Blood, Sweat and Snot
Brunettie
Nearsighted Faith
Keith Suburban
Aerojones
Guns and Pansies
King Fire Engine Red
The Intracranial Hemorrhages

And my personal fav:
Kid Easy Listening